THE LIE

So I lied. This is the biggest lie I’ve spun. If the person I lied to ever found out, it would be the end of it. I didn’t tell anybody for a couple of weeks about it for the fear that I would be judged. I think the bigger fear was that I would judge myself. I usually don’t lie so I was paranoid about covering up my loopholes. I usually don’t lie because I don’t need to. I’m self-confident, barely insecure, the 10-yrs-later-it-won’t-matter attitude, and principled. When I hear others lying I believe it comes from lack of the above. So naturally I was scared of what my girls would say about it. Gpta said she doesn’t judge me at all and everyone does it; said I was just testing the waters. Sne said it was a big lie, but done well; didn’t judge me for the lie but concerned for the reason behind it.

But let’s talk about why Sne said it was ‘done well’. Even though I feel horrible about lying & all that jazz, I felt smart about ‘doing it well’! If you spin a lie that’s too good to be true the trick is to question it yourself; Start with the “But I was thinking that there’s something off….” sentence. Having admitting that statement made the lie more real apparently.       

Do I regret it? No & yes. I don’t regret having lied since there were concrete results, clarity & emotional stability; I regret having spun such a huge lie since if it ever unravels, I wouldn’t know where to hang my head. 

One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth -Friedrich Nietzsche  

Sunayana Sen

The Bengaliness!!

So I'm a pure Bangalee, which means both my Parents are Bangalee. Well, at least more or less..... So Bongs are supposed to be a smart lot- literary inclined, extremely artistic, culturally sensitive, amazing analytical abilities, & are also known for their 'Sense of humor'. True. Perfectly true. BUT. Did you know that Bangalees are a crazy bunch of people? I'm serious!! Ok let me prove it.....


CASE 1:

So, when a Bangalee from West Bengal goes on a holiday to, say Hyderabad- where vendors usually speak in Telugu & sometimes in Hindi(definitely not Bangla though)- and end up going to Charminar for a shopping trip. And she's buying a Wooden spoon. This is how the conversation shapes up.......


Crazy Bangalee:(to the Vendor) "Kawtho te dicchein?" [How much are you giving this for?]

Vendor(who doesn't know bengali): "Thees rupiye ka ek"

Crazy Bangalee: "Oh maa go! Ektaar jonne tireesh taaka! Kolkata te eitaar jonne aami pondro taaka di" [OMG! Rs. 3o for one! In Kolkata, I give Rs. 15 for one]

Vendor: "Chalo aapke liye mein pacchees may dedeta. Pack kardoon?"


Crazy Bangalee: "Theek acche...aami pocheesh ey dooto nebo. Bhaalo kore pack kore deen. Suitcase ey dhokate hobey kintu, bhaangbe na tho?" [Ok fine...I'll take 2 for Rs. 25. Pack it properly. I have to stuff it in the suitcase, it wont break right?]


Vendor: "Kya madam....aisa loot lete to kaisa madam! Aapko mein paitees may do dedeta hoon. Yeh ekdam zabardast quality ka hain. Bhhoth saal tak chalte. Final madam"


Crazy Bangalee: " Theek aache, aami dooto tireesh taaka-ey nebo. Final" [Ok fine, I'll take 2 for Rs.30/-]


Finally, with that last sentence of "negotiation", the sale was made for 2 Wooden spoons for Rs. 30/- !




CASE 2:

When a huge Bangalee family of 10 walks into a movie theater for a late night show of "Bunty aur Bubli", pretty much the entire theater knows of their presence. And to enhance the effect, Bangalees are ALWAYS late! So for instance, this is how the scene unfolds......


Movie begins at 10:30 p.m. They arrive at the multiplex at 10:40 p.m. As they walk into the corridor & head towards the Screen, their attention is drawn towards a lil argument at one of the Screens' door. Due to their concentration being diverted, they walk into a Screen where a Telugu movie is playing, and on the screen is Sameera Reddy doing an item number!

Aunty #1(screams): "Ohmaago! Puchki, Bunty aur Bobli te eita ke re? Eita ki Rani Mukherji?" [OMG! Puchki(daughter), who's that in Bunty aur Babli? Is that Rani Mukherji?]

Aunty #2: " Rani Mukherji kotho mota hoeygachhe" [Rani Mukherji's become so fat]

Uncle #1: "Arre eita thho telugoo te!" [This is in Telugu!]

{By now the entire theater's attention is on them}

Daughter #1: "Arre chillachho kano??!! Aasthe kotha bolo!" [Why are you screaming??!! Speak softly!]

Uncle #2(to a gentleman sitting): "Excuse me. You are sitting in our seat."

Gentleman: (confused, looks around & realizes he's sitting in the correct seat) "Umm....This is my seat."

Son #1: "We're in the wrong Screen!!"

Aunty #3: (after enlightenment dawns upon her) "Taaee aami bhaabi Bunty aur Bobli telugoo te kano!" [That's what I was wondering, why is Bunty aur Babli in Telugu!]


.......Finally they enter the correct theater, but laugh about their foolishness(pretty loudly) for the next 5 minutes!


Case 3:

You know how Indians get all brotherly & familial when they spot another Indian on a foreign land? Well, multiply that into 1000 & that's how bad it is for Bongs! So, there's a family of 4 holidaying in Malaysia[Family #1]. While walking around in a shopping mall they happen to overhear another Indian family.....and guess what? They were speaking Bangla! [Family #2] The wife was wearing a red & a white bangle on both hands, so this was definitely a Bong family. This is what happens next.......

Wife #1: (to her husband) "Oi daekho......Ora bangalee!" [Look, they're Bongs!]
Husband #1: (slightly enthused) "Hmmm....."

{Conscious of this fact, Wife #1 inches closer to Family #2. Finally they're standing next to each other}

Wife #1: (to her husband, a lil too loudly) "Ei shono. Aami bhaabchilaam eita Rumjhum-er jonne nieni" [Listen, I was thinking, let's take this for Rumjhum(some relative back home)]

Wife #2(overhears this convo, feels the need to participate, says to Wife #1): " Aapnara Bangalee??" [Are you'll Bongs?]

Wife #1: (all excited) "Hain! Aamar naam Mishti Dottho. Eita aamar Shaami, Obhinondon Dottho. Aapnara kotha kaar Bangalee?" [Yes! My name is Mishti Dutta. This is my Husband, Abhinandan Dutta. Which area's Bongs are you'll?]

Wife #2: "Aami Moushumi Banerjee. Aamar Shaami'r naam holo Odittho Banerjee. Aamar Shaami'r baadi holo Kolkata-ey, kintu aamar Maa-er baadi holo Dhakurya te. Ackhon to aamra Salt lake ey thaaki. Aamar Shaami'r office aar cheyle'r school oh kaacha kaachi" [I'm Moushumi Banerjee. My Husband's name is Aditya Banerjee. My hunsband's home is in Kolkata, but my maternal home is in Dhakurya. Right now we live in Salt lake. My husband's office & Son's school are nearby.]

Wife #1: (getting more hyper) "Dhakurya??!!! Aamar mejo Pishi Dhakurya ey thaake! Taar naam holo Konchon Deb Bormon. Aapni cheen bein hoyto?" [Dhakurya??!! My Dad's middle Sister lives in Dhakurya! Her name is Kanchan Deb Burman. I guess you'll know them?]

.............So that's how it goes! And next thing you know, the 2 wives used to play in the same play ground when they were kids, in Dhakurya!! Awww....cho chweet!! :)


So as I began saying, Bangalees are pretty crazy! And believe me, if you find yourself amidst a bunch of them, you might want to hold on to your sanity! Just a thought before I close, if you've noticed, non- bengali boys who marry Bangalee girls, after a few years of marriage, in public, are known to be extremely loud & vociferous people! :P




Sunayana Sen
(Proud to be a part of this craziness :P )

A caterpillar's transformation into a Butterfly

There was a time when I couldn't wait to grow up, which at that time meant- start working in a really cool Company, shop with my own money, lalala and basically, 'Get a Life'! But TODAY........it feels like age has caught up on me unaware. I mean, ya sure I was aware of my increasing age, thanks to my Birthday parties! And until my 18th, it seemed like I was on the right track. But my 19th!!!! Sheesh!!! The panic attacks that I suffered! :O


A month before 25th December 2009, I felt a sudden rush of emotions, particularly fear. Not just fear, but also anxiety, craziness, weakness & similar emotions, yet they were unknown. I couldn't point at exactly what was the root cause of this state that I was in & that's what made it worse. Then I came up with a hundred reasons for the same! I almost went into depression....Heck, I did go into depression!!


The eve of 25th December 2009. I remember being absolutely pissed off. I DIDN'T WANT A PARTY!! WHY didn't my parents get that!!! I didn't have a b'day dress. The State was in the middle of a bandh. The attention I was entitled to on MY day, was being shared by something I once loved. My extended Family was arriving on my b'day (and trust me, they're crazy!) So all in all, I was dreading the D-day! (And then in a moment of craziness, I switched off my phone. Figured that the people who wanted to reach me, would find a way to....)



D-day!! So phone's been off for about 16 hours now. Been sound asleep for about 6 hours now. And then I wake up & the month- old anxiety hits me in my gut, and it hit hard! Shit.....I was a year older now. Finally I entered the world of 20s! Wow. So the rest of the day was pretty miserable. Had a strange craving for alcohol for some weird reason. Anyway, so the day's finally over. Thank God!


After D-day. The day after my Birthday was just as bad. The realization of growing a year older was driving me nuts. And then it dawned upon me.....


If I was growing older, so was everything around me. If I was going to enter the 'real world', so were my classmates & everyone else. If I was going to live........I might as well enjoy it! Maybe I had been looking at it the wrong way all this time. It really wasn't so much about growing old, it was more about 'growing up'. Ironic, isn't it. 1 second you & your siblings are playing on the merry-go-round. And the next, you're waving good- bye at the International Airplane that just took off with your sister in it. Or maybe 1 second you, your siblings & friends are playing 'house' in the balcony, and the next second, you're dressing up your sister on her Wedding day......There's an odd sense of satisfaction when you hold your Sister's baby in your arms.......

All I wanted was to hold on to everything that I knew so well....just that, my grasp wasn't strong enough. I wanted to enter the 'real world' holding the hand of the past. Only when growing up will you realize that unless you let go of old stuff, there's no room for the new.....If I was going to transform into a Butterfly, I would first have to come out of my cocoon.

That's when it hit me....... I'm finally growing up! :)

FINESTRA

FINESTRA

By Sunayana Sen.

What is it that we see from our windows? Extremely tall skyscrapers, roads jam packed with vehicles, 2 or 3 trees, etc… it‟s the same view from a house in U.S.A, from a house in Russia, from a house in Ukraine. Nothing different. But these are countries that are miles away from each other. But the same view.

What is Finestra?

Finestra in Italian means “window”. AIESEC, through "Finestra‟, is going to show you the view from inside your window‟. It is a unique way of spreading awareness about GLOBAL WARMING. Global warming, unlike any other social issue, is an issue faced by every single living being on this planet. Be it an animal or a human or even a non-living entity such as a lake or a river, we are all facing the inconvenient truth that we are more than happy to ignore. And the truth is- global warming is happening! And it‟s taking away with it parts of our world! It is very easy to sit in the comfort of our secure home (is it really secure?), and read about the disastrous effects of global warming that are happening in different parts of the world as we speak. It's an issue that has been ignored for way too long now. Remember the devastating "Hurricane Katrina‟, the haunting "Tsunami‟ and closer home, the unforgettable "Mumbai rains‟? Did you know that, when the island of Greenland melts- and be sure it is happening – the water levels in the oceans will rise by 20%, thereby making an unbelievable number of cities across the globe perish? Who knows, our city might just be one of the many. 2005 was recorded as the hottest year in the century. Did you know that Andhra Pradesh had been recorded as one of the hottest states in world during that summer? The heat waves claimed more than 14,000 lives in the state that year.

All these are the appalling effects of global warming.


This play brings together people from different countries, speaking different languages, following different cultures, worshiping different Gods even, but with only one similarity- the threat of global warming. 10 diverse internationals will portray the state of their countries, of what was and what will be. And what WE as the youth of today, are doing to affect this scenario.
We in AIESEC don‟t see Earth as a planet with 195 countries. For AIESEC, Earth is ONE world which is facing ONE common threat- GLOBAL WARMING. All the 195 countries in the world face the same problems. Therefore, the need of the hour is awareness of the causes & consequences of global warming & the methods to delay its effects.

Finestra Is a unique and entertaining way of subtly putting across the point, that we have no time to waste in the wake of global warming. This is OUR future that we are destroying. It is the human instinct of survival that should make us find ways to sustain ourselves and our surroundings.


Do you really want to leave your children or grandchildren in a place that‟s devoid of plants, lakes, rivers, seas, oceans, snow-capped mountains, non- polluted oxygen? Lets all unite against this common terrorist called global warming, so that at least we might be able to prevent permanent devastation.

Love - Sense & Simplicity

Have you read Eric Segal's 'Love Story'? Its' considered to be one of the most romantic books ever written. Not because the heroine is in danger & the hero saves her or the usual filmy, dramatic story. It was extremely simple, just describing this realistic couple's love for each other & their journey together called, Life.

Are the most perfect love stories the most simple? I think yes, it is.

"Love"

What is it?

1 simple word

1 simple feeling

Yet, we complicate it.

This is a phenomenon I've been noticing for quite some time now. When a person likes someone, they will NEVER tell him/her. He/she will tell his/her's friends, hoping the news will reach the concerned person, they will in turn tell the other's friends, who in turn will tell other friends & FINALLY(thank God there's a finally!), the concerned boy/girl will get to know.

Why such complication ya???

Just go tell the guy/girl straight to his/her face that you like him/her. "I think I'm in love with you". SIMPLE.

I find it ridiculous that people are afraid of confessing such an important feeling. If you do ever feel it, treasure it. Coz, not everybody is lucky enough to feel Love. To not feel love for anybody or anything, to not have someone to love, is the most horrible curse anybody will ever have.

Love is a sensation that makes life beautiful. It makes your troubles go away. It makes you concentrate only on the positives in the world. It gives you the feeling of being on top of the world. I dont understand why people have to do drugs to have all the above feelings, when there is a intoxication called love?



When do people fall in love? Specifically, at what age?

Do you think there is an average age when people fall in love?

I dont know. I think, Love is something that just happens, Without you realizing it. Without you planning it. I used to say, how can you fall in love at this age? Today, I contradict myself.

When I sit by myself and look inside me, I realize that I'm holding myself. I'm holding myself really tight. And i'm sure it's the same with you. LET GO. Dont hold yourself. Feel uncaged, feel free......

That's when you will feel love.



Sunayana Sen.

Dramarama

'ON a cold Christmas day, late in the evening, in one of the wards of the army hospital in the outskirts of Delhi, two women were bringing two lives into this world. Neither of them knew what was in store for their respective child. Neither of them knew what these 2 were going to grow up to be. Finally, the pain was over and the cries of 2 babies could be heard. Two beautiful daughters! When one of the mothers' was told that she delivered a daughter, she did not want to believe it. Her family would kill her! She refused to even see her daughter! The Doctor then asked the other Mother, in a frustrated tone, "Did you want a daughter, or did you want a son?" "I want a daughter", she replied. And a lovely daughter was who she got.

25 days later, she flew to Hyderabad along with her family, and settled there. The couple's Daughter was the jewel of the entire family. Afterall, she was the first child of the entire clan. Everyone loved her so very much. She got all the attention, all the gifts, and was the sole dream of her parents. 5 years passed and she was taught so many things. At the age of just four & a half, she knew how to swim, dance, was a good runner, good reciter of Tagore's poems. So when she was in upper kindergarten, her parents gifted her a baby brother! She was so excited. She would treat him like a doll.She would put make-up on his chubby little face, would make him wear all her hair-bands, put shaving cream on his face...... A few years went by like this. When she was in second grade, at the age of 7, her parents decided to move into a new house. A nice apartment in a posh locality. And that's where the roller-coaster of a journey began........

Nothing-ness

I don't know what to say.

I am at complete loss of words. There's so much that I want to say, I need to say, but I don't know a serene way to say it. The turbulence inside me feels as though it might engulf me into nothing-ness. My insides are at war. I don't want to see. I don't want to hear. I don't want to read. I don't want to feel. I don't want to think. I don't want to dream. Maybe nothing-ness is the best.

With each passing day, i think my wall is getting higher and higher. Yes, it has gotten higher since the last time I checked. I should probably adorn the wall with a creeper of thorns.

I want to go. I want to go away, and take my wall along. I want to take a boat and sail into the horizon. Maybe sail past the horizon. I want to sit on the rocks and watch the fish, laughing & smiling and always moving together. But I must be careful not to look at the coast, because the fisherman is taking them away. Where is he taking them? Should I help the fish? Maybe not. Last time I tried to help, I got bit by a shark. I think I should move on. Must continue my pursuit. Forget about the fish. I need to save myself from the fisherman. Wait, what is happening? There's water on the floor of my boat. I feel the ocean taking me in.......... My boat is sinking. It has become too heavy with the weight of my conscience. Maybe this is good. The ocean will wipe out everything.......... I can start afresh!

I dont remember anything. Why dont I remember anything?! Maybe the memory is too painful. It pricks. It's picking me. Wait, something is pricking me! The creeper of thorns on the wall is pricking me! But I dont remember building a wall...... Why did I build the wall? Did I build it in the first place? Now I cannot get out of it. I move an inch and the thorns prick me. Ouch! Stop pricking me! It's pricking my heart....Oh my god, the thorn has pierced my heart....I can see blood.....I cannot even move my hand to remove the thorn from my heart......Somebody help me!!!! I can feel something oozing out along with my blood..... Somebody help me!!!! WHY WONT ANYBODY HELP ME???!!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I try to look down, and I see my life oozing out along with my blood. I can feel.......






Sunayana Sen