“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” -Jean de La Fontaine

In my previous posts about my self-discovery in career and love I spoke of a trip that I took to Singapore. It was the most important trip of my life and I could live it a million times. 

At Marina Bay Sands Singapore

I was heart broken, ready to quit my job, ready to just curl up under a blanket and sleep for the rest of my life. I couldn't envision a future for myself, constantly questioned my past and I certainly didn't know how to deal with the present. The only thing my gut told me was leave. And I went to Singapore. I promised myself that I would not get on to Facebook or chat with anybody from back home while I was there because I needed every bit of space to get back on my feet.

My days in Singapore were the most empty days that I ever had. I would wake up post noon, have lunch for over an hour while watching TV, then I would take a nap, wake up and shower and then go explore the city. Usually I'm a very organized person when it comes to travel; I research about the tourist attractions, the things to do, the history of the place, the costs for each of them and make an extensive itinerary. This time I hadn't done any research and didn't have any itinerary. Which was kind of liberating. I was free to go where I wanted with a blank mind. I went to the Marina Bay Sands, visited the casino there (my first casino experience ever!), chilled at the Sentosa beach at 10 pm, drank at the East Coast Park beach until 6 am and watched the sun rise, went to a dance bar (my first experience with this too!), tried different cuisines- all of which I have never done in India and probably won't ever get to do.

My most memorable experience was the day that I spent on Sentosa Island by myself. One afternoon I just took off to the island with nothing except money, phone and camera. For the longest time I sat at the beach cafe where I had stopped to eat a hot dog. I just sat there doing nothing but watching the water. Water brings a certain sense of calm to me and I was there soaking it all in without interruption. I watched people enjoying the water too and just being with their loved ones. That evening was the best I had had.

You know, when you have space around you, you should really use it. I was forced out of a future I held very dear to me but then I asked myself, was this who my parents raised? I couldn't just give up without a fight. I refused to disappoint myself. And that's when my upward climb began. As my day to leave Singapore came close, I had to pick up the pieces and make it into something. But I couldn't think of anything. So I decided to take life one day at a time just like did in Singapore. No thinking about the future became my mantra. Six months was the time I gave myself do something before I pack up and leave my hometown. I gave these six months my all- days, nights, sweat, blood, brains, focus, tears. I taught myself coding, I learned to play the drums, I taught children English and to build kaleidoscopes, and best of all, I started learning Kathak. I drowned myself in all this because I didn't know what to do. And it paid off in many ways. At work I earned respect and got promoted; At the school I felt good about the love I was getting from children; At dance I re-built my feminine-ness. Ofcourse for the first couple of months I was still an emotional wreck but slowly I started loving myself again the way I never did before.

This day last year I was in Singapore with a blank mind. Today I am here being the best I can be.

Be the best you can be. -Sunayana Sen

Sunayana Sen



You can live my travels through my Facebook album- Travelogue 

The world from the waiting platform

Sitting at the Tirupati railway station you see a peculiar sight of bald heads all around you. I spent an hour on the platform waiting for my train to pull in and it struck me how in places like railway stations and airports there’s a plethora of people all living different lives, with different destinations in life. Especially in India it’s enhanced with colors, sounds and smells.

Sitting in front of me is a lady with minimal luggage. In the hustle-bustle of the station she sits quietly and rearranges her bag. The most astonishing thing about Indian women from the streets is where they hide their purse. Of course, unlike us they have tiny purses just big enough to place their meager collection of money- wouldn't be more than a couple of hundreds. After setting her purse and hiding it in her blouse she moves on to rearranging her bag that is nothing more than a shopping bag made of cloth. I watch as she removes each item and boy was I stunned! I doubt our well-paid-for totes can accommodate that much! Quietly, in her own world she goes about arranging her bag, oblivious to the bald heads screaming next to her. 

Which brings me to my next source of amusement- the three bald heads. This family of five just got all of their heads shaved, except the mother. The parents are seated quietly, clearly oblivious (or used to) to the three bald heads' screaming. One bald head thinks he's Rajnikanth. He's trying to lift his brother off the ground even though he's failing miserably. After a while he's given up trying to be a hero using his brother; now he's fighting an imaginary villain. 

A young girl who’s probably younger than me came to freshen up at the water tap. Guess what, she’s newly married. Her husband is next to her and is pretty young himself. My aunt pointed out that he has similar facial features as the girl so he’s probably her brother. Even if he is her brother he can still be her husband; they’re from Andhra Pradesh after all. But whoever he is, they were definitely blushing while talking to each other. Even in this huge railway station filled with strangers, they had an intimate moment, which my aunt and I forced ourselves into.

Stations & airports are the best places to just sit and watch how the disconnected world finally connects in one place before traveling to different destinations.

Sunayana Sen

A day celebrated, A day cursed

How should I have celebrated my 21^st? They say your 21^st birthday is the last milestone you should celebrate before your 40th. Like you throw parties when you turn sweet 16, adult 18 & legal 21. I remember how I spent the evening howling on my 19^th birthday because I was fearful of the responsibilities in the future. But then it’s my 21^st! You’re supposed to get wasted on this day because you’re legally allowed to drink; hell I got my best friend wasted on her 21^st! I had all the intentions to throw a massive weekend party for about 60 friends. But then two weeks before the day I was looking at the guest list & thought to myself, “It’s a big day for me and I want all my friends there because I know they love me and care for me. But half of the ‘friends’ on the list didn’t care for me, didn’t stand by me when they should’ve, didn’t stop any wrong happening to me, weren’t moved by my tears, nothing at all. Why should I then have them around me on my special day?”

That was the day I decided I wanted a special 21^st only with those who love me.

I’m in a phase where I’m disturbed, emotionally tired, disoriented in my brain & can’t make any decisions. I need a break. From everything. I decided to go to Coimbatore to my aunt’s villa that is in the outskirts of the town surrounded by mountains and nothing else. I wanted a change in environment, wanted peace, solitude, to be away from people. My aunt is a Reiki master and every time she’s around there’s just this peaceful energy. And I was craving for that. So with that thought, I was off to Coimbatore. But then lately God is enjoying this game of throwing random situations at me at the last moment and so instead of going to Coimbatore, I went to Chennai.

I love the beach. I love the sun, warmth, sand, water and wind. On 25^th that’s what we did. We went to a private beach of the Radisson, which was outside town and just walked there for a bit. And I loved it. It was perfect. I saw the sun setting over the water; saw the sky go from light to dark. I wore a pink beach-y dress and even though my late Didima’s (maternal grandmother) gold watch didn’t go with the dress, I still wore it. I know she’s around when I wear the watch and I feel stronger and protected. I took my Didima with me and walked along the shore with her.

I visited God before the beach to say hi and take his blessings- another thing that was top in the agenda. My evening ended with a fantastic dinner at the Radisson Temple Bay, two surprise cakes and a whole bunch of gifts from my aunt! Towards the end of the day I was thanking all those who wished me on Facebook and some of them seemed so genuine like they really wanted the best year for me. 21 years of experiences, memories, gains, losses, relationships, decisions, travel, purchases, status messages, photos, tags and a whole lot more. I will spend tomorrow counting the blessings I got this year and make each of them count in my 22^nd year.

That’s my gift to myself.   

Sunayana Sen

Maple Leaves

Early in 2011 we got news that my elder cousin sister was to get married in August in North America. So the four of us pulled up our socks, packed our bags & got ready to head to the country of maple leaves & ice hockey- CANADA! 

Having been to the U.S before, I didn't expect Canada to be anything different. But I was wrong. There are lots of differences between these two sister countries & if I were forced to live in one of them, I would choose Canada. Attitude, ambience, environment, people & governance were some of the big differences for me.

1. Canada is a lot more laid-back than U.S is which is my favorite difference. U.S seems like it's on this never-ending, single participant race to nowhere, and if they pause for just a second the whole world will come crashing down. To live my life in that environment is a curse. But Canada seems very secure in their position as though being #1 is not everything. 
2. It's green. It's so green! Apparently, for every burial the family has to plant a tree/seed. Every house has a lawn that if not maintained, you can be evicted. The downtown area also is quite green. The walkways, roads, footpaths, etc., all have plants hanging from the lamp-posts or shop doors and foliages. 
3. The ambience of the place is so victorian. The fact that Canada was a British & French colony is evident in their cobblestone roads, historic architecture, naming of streets, trams & occasional vintage cars. I love it!    
4. In Davenport, U.S.A, people are overly-friendly. Now that I think of it, it's kind of nauseating. In Mississauga, Canada, people aren't overly-friendly at all. They go about minding their business with the occasional nod of their head & greetings. In downtown Toronto you're invisible. I quite like that.   
5. I never thought I'd ever say this of a country's governance, but I'm impressed with the Canadian governance. It's neither as paranoid as Republic of China nor is crazy like Kenya, Nigeria, etc. Did you know that education for kids of Canadian citizens is free until high school? And it takes just ~3 yrs to become a Canadian citizen. Healthcare is free; No conditions applied. You can afford to buy a house in 5 yrs. And not just any random, one BHK; you can buy a proper independent house in the residential areas. But how does the government afford all this? Your tax is 30% of your income. Big amount which leaves a small margin for disposable income. But then everything is taken of by the state. And apparently the people are fearful of the 'Tax-Men' which is why Canada has a low tax default rate. Taxes are really high here. Even shopping's a bitch due to the high taxes. *

Although we had plans to visit Montreal & Quebec City, we only visited Toronto & Niagara Falls. Oh, and since I'm talking about my travels I've got to mention that I didn't find anything particularly glamorous or picturesque about Niagara falls. Sorry, I just didn't.

These were my major travel takeaways from Canada. Beautiful place, rich history, numerous things-to-do. Do visit it once. 

Sunayana Sen

*Facts not researched. Just word-of-mouth from Canadians. 

Bucket List

Lately I've been thinking about what are those things I want to do/experience before I die and here are what I could think of as of today when I'm 20 yrs and 336 days old. I'm sure this list will be built upon as I keep checking these ones off.

1. Run off a cliff into the ocean
2. Sky diving
3. Scuba diving/snorkeling 
4. Visit Greece, Pakistan, Cape of Good Hope, Prague, Newzealand, Brazil, Cuba, China, Istanbul, Spain, Germany, Helsinki, Ireland, and a whole lot of other places  
5. Weigh at least 54 kgs at some point
6. Make my family act according to what makes them happy instead of what society 'accepts'
7. Get a tattoo
8. Own a Dodge Viper

9.  Buy a dilapidated small palace and restore it to be my house

10.  Get some answers about rebirth & what I was in my past life

11. Deeply impact someone's life

12. Save/stop at least one kid from being raped/killed/sold/thrown into human trafficking/married off to someone 50 yrs older

13. A healthy library at home

14. Never let go of sports

15. Have all of this with someone who loves me

16. Have no regrets when I'm on my deathbed

Veni, Vidi, Vici| I came, I saw, I conquered

Sunayana Sen