THE LIE

So I lied. This is the biggest lie I’ve spun. If the person I lied to ever found out, it would be the end of it. I didn’t tell anybody for a couple of weeks about it for the fear that I would be judged. I think the bigger fear was that I would judge myself. I usually don’t lie so I was paranoid about covering up my loopholes. I usually don’t lie because I don’t need to. I’m self-confident, barely insecure, the 10-yrs-later-it-won’t-matter attitude, and principled. When I hear others lying I believe it comes from lack of the above. So naturally I was scared of what my girls would say about it. Gpta said she doesn’t judge me at all and everyone does it; said I was just testing the waters. Sne said it was a big lie, but done well; didn’t judge me for the lie but concerned for the reason behind it.

But let’s talk about why Sne said it was ‘done well’. Even though I feel horrible about lying & all that jazz, I felt smart about ‘doing it well’! If you spin a lie that’s too good to be true the trick is to question it yourself; Start with the “But I was thinking that there’s something off….” sentence. Having admitting that statement made the lie more real apparently.       

Do I regret it? No & yes. I don’t regret having lied since there were concrete results, clarity & emotional stability; I regret having spun such a huge lie since if it ever unravels, I wouldn’t know where to hang my head. 

One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth -Friedrich Nietzsche  

Sunayana Sen