Saturday, March 16, 2013

Har Har Mahadev!

Late last month Amish Tripathi released his last book in the Shiva Trilogy- The Oath of the Vayuputras - and a whole bunch of book lovers in my office went into a frenzy. I didn't quite understand it & quite frankly I was agitated that I didn't know about this famous book when everybody else did! I then looked it up online & decided that I want to read it too. I'm immensely fond of mythology so I took to the book immediately, yet grudgingly so since I knew it was only fiction. But some parts of the book either brought tears to my eyes, or answered an impending question in my head, or left me a tad bit wiser. Sorry Paulo Coelho, your books didn't impact me as much!

Here's an excerpt of the trilogy that I liked most and brought tears to my eyes:

A resounding roar arose from the Suryavanshis. They were led by the Mahadev. The God of Gods. The Chandravanshis did not stand a chance.
"But I am not the only one!" 
 A shocked silence descended on the Surayavanshis. What did the Mahadev mean? He is not the only one? Do the Chandravanshis have a god too?
 "I am not the only one! For I see a hundred thousand Mahadevs in front of me! I see a hundred thousand men willing to battle evil! I see a hundred thousand men capable of destroying evil!"
 The stunned Suryavanshis gaped at their Neelkanth as the import of his words permeated their minds. They dared not ask the question: Are we gods?
   Shiva had the answer: "Har Ek Hai Mahadev!
The Meluhans stood astounded. Every single one a Mahadev?  
"Har Har Mahadev?" bellowed Shiva. 
The Meluhans roared. All of us are Mahadevs! 
Pure primal energy coursed through the veins of each Suryanvanshi. They were gods! It didn't matter that the Chndravanshis outnumbered them ten to one. They were gods! Even if the evil Chandravanshis outnumbered them a thousand to one, victory was assured. They were gods! 
"Har Har Mahadev!" cried the Suryavanshi army.

This excerpt had such a profound effect on me and I felt empowered! It was as if I was in that army and I was being spoken to. I still have no idea why this touched me so. Maybe it's a a piece of knowledge that will be used later.

Another beautiful line in The Secret of the Nagas that touched me was:
There is a god in every single one of us. And there is evil in every single one of us. The true battle between good and evil is fought within.
And somewhere later in the book it is said because there's both good an evil in us it takes strength to choose the good. The weak would choose evil. To me this meant that when I have to make a choice, I have to be brutal on my self and choose what's good for most that are involved otherwise I'm weak and that's something I can't live with.

For those who are looking for self-realization and like reading, do read these books. Well written, addictive and helpful. May have the answers to your questions.

Sunayana Sen

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Guardian Jewels

Some highly observant people have asked me why I wear my old-fashioned, gold watch all the time. 

It was my Late Didima's (Maternal grandma) watch and she wore it all the time. Boy, did it look great on her! I have other watches too, more 'fashionable' ones but her watch has the timeless uniqueness that none of the prada, gucci, tommy watches can match. Just like my Didima. Most importantly, I wear it because it gives me a sense of comfort that she's always watching over me & I'm not alone.

The necklace is another piece that I inherited from her and I wear it with all my sarees. I never forget to wear it for any family wedding. I wear this necklace because my Didima was a beautiful and fabulous lady and I hope to be a tiny reflection of her some day.

These pieces of jewelry have been through my many ups and downs but have still remained the same timeless beauties, giving me a sense of stability and security just like my Didima did.

Sunayana Sen

Sunday, February 17, 2013

The room on rent

On that clear summer morning the girl in the yellow pants ended her journey with you. You both have done this before but this time it has a sense of finality. For some reason she wonders what your future would be without her. She had never considered this before, not even when you chose someone else one time. But today she is. 

You’re in a new country now exploring sights, people, food, experiences. Every day is an adventure for you and fortunately for you, this leaves little room to think about the girl in the yellow pants who occupied two years of your life. Slowly and steadily this girl will fade from your thoughts and occupy a small room in the recesses of your mind. Sometimes you will walk down the road to that room just to sit over a coffee and reminisce with her. Maybe even you will chat about what could have been. Who knows? But slowly those visits will stop as you will meet other girls. Some of them may remind you of that girl in the yellow pants who lives in a room in your mind while some of them may make you feel like you are fortunate for that clear summer day. She wonders if you still smile thinking about her. Do you ever wonder about me the same way I wonder about you she asks. Do you feel like picking up the phone and calling me to make everything like before, she asks again. She does.

There will be a girl soon who will be THE girl for you. You will finally fall in love with her, marry her and have a loving family with her. You will forget all about that girl in the yellow pants who quietly lives in the room in your mind. You will stop visiting her. On one emotional occasion you will take THE girl along with you for one last visit to the room to introduce them to each other. You will tell THE girl that she was a part of your life for a while and will hopefully say a nice thing or two about her. You will tell the girl in the yellow pants that this is your last visit to her room. Consider this your eviction notice you will say. It’s time to leave.

Maybe your paths will cross again someday when you’re 60 years old with grey hair and wrinkled skin. God can be cruel that way. Or merciful. Whichever way you see it. Maybe that love will raise its head again. Maybe you will have coffee together and talk about your respective families. Maybe you will remember what she looked like in the yellow pants. Maybe you will wish things never ended. Maybe.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” -Jean de La Fontaine

In my previous posts about my self-discovery in career and love I spoke of a trip that I took to Singapore. It was the most important trip of my life and I could live it a million times. 

At Marina Bay Sands Singapore

I was heart broken, ready to quit my job, ready to just curl up under a blanket and sleep for the rest of my life. I couldn't envision a future for myself, constantly questioned my past and I certainly didn't know how to deal with the present. The only thing my gut told me was leave. And I went to Singapore. I promised myself that I would not get on to Facebook or chat with anybody from back home while I was there because I needed every bit of space to get back on my feet.

My days in Singapore were the most empty days that I ever had. I would wake up post noon, have lunch for over an hour while watching TV, then I would take a nap, wake up and shower and then go explore the city. Usually I'm a very organized person when it comes to travel; I research about the tourist attractions, the things to do, the history of the place, the costs for each of them and make an extensive itinerary. This time I hadn't done any research and didn't have any itinerary. Which was kind of liberating. I was free to go where I wanted with a blank mind. I went to the Marina Bay Sands, visited the casino there (my first casino experience ever!), chilled at the Sentosa beach at 10 pm, drank at the East Coast Park beach until 6 am and watched the sun rise, went to a dance bar (my first experience with this too!), tried different cuisines- all of which I have never done in India and probably won't ever get to do.

My most memorable experience was the day that I spent on Sentosa Island by myself. One afternoon I just took off to the island with nothing except money, phone and camera. For the longest time I sat at the beach cafe where I had stopped to eat a hot dog. I just sat there doing nothing but watching the water. Water brings a certain sense of calm to me and I was there soaking it all in without interruption. I watched people enjoying the water too and just being with their loved ones. That evening was the best I had had.

You know, when you have space around you, you should really use it. I was forced out of a future I held very dear to me but then I asked myself, was this who my parents raised? I couldn't just give up without a fight. I refused to disappoint myself. And that's when my upward climb began. As my day to leave Singapore came close, I had to pick up the pieces and make it into something. But I couldn't think of anything. So I decided to take life one day at a time just like did in Singapore. No thinking about the future became my mantra. Six months was the time I gave myself do something before I pack up and leave my hometown. I gave these six months my all- days, nights, sweat, blood, brains, focus, tears. I taught myself coding, I learned to play the drums, I taught children English and to build kaleidoscopes, and best of all, I started learning Kathak. I drowned myself in all this because I didn't know what to do. And it paid off in many ways. At work I earned respect and got promoted; At the school I felt good about the love I was getting from children; At dance I re-built my feminine-ness. Ofcourse for the first couple of months I was still an emotional wreck but slowly I started loving myself again the way I never did before.

This day last year I was in Singapore with a blank mind. Today I am here being the best I can be.

Be the best you can be. -Sunayana Sen

Sunayana Sen

You can live my travels through my Facebook album- Travelogue