Monday, December 26, 2011

A day celebrated, A day cursed

How should I have celebrated my 21st? They say your 21st birthday is the last milestone you should celebrate before your 40th. Like you throw parties when you turn sweet 16, adult 18 & legal 21. I remember how I spent the evening howling on my 19th birthday because I was fearful of the responsibilities in the future. But then it’s my 21st! You’re supposed to get wasted on this day because you’re legally allowed to drink; hell I got my best friend wasted on her 21st! I had all the intentions to throw a massive weekend party for about 60 friends. But then two weeks before the day I was looking at the guest list & thought to myself, “It’s a big day for me and I want all my friends there because I know they love me and care for me. But half of the ‘friends’ on the list didn’t care for me, didn’t stand by me when they should’ve, didn’t stop any wrong happening to me, weren’t moved by my tears, nothing at all. Why should I then have them around me on my special day?”

That was the day I decided I wanted a special 21st only with those who love me.
I’m in a phase where I’m disturbed, emotionally tired, disoriented in my brain & can’t make any decisions. I need a break. From everything. I decided to go to Coimbatore to my aunt’s villa that is in the outskirts of the town surrounded by mountains and nothing else. I wanted a change in environment, wanted peace, solitude, to be away from people. My aunt is a Reiki master and every time she’s around there’s just this peaceful energy. And I was craving for that. So with that thought, I was off to Coimbatore. But then lately God is enjoying this game of throwing random situations at me at the last moment and so instead of going to Coimbatore, I went to Chennai.

I love the beach. I love the sun, warmth, sand, water and wind. On 25th that’s what we did. We went to a private beach of the Radisson, which was outside town and just walked there for a bit. And I loved it. It was perfect. I saw the sun setting over the water; saw the sky go from light to dark. I wore a pink beach-y dress and even though my late Didima’s (maternal grandmother) gold watch didn’t go with the dress, I still wore it. I know she’s around when I wear the watch and I feel stronger and protected. I took my Didima with me and walked along the shore with her.

I visited God before the beach to say hi and take his blessings- another thing that was top in the agenda. My evening ended with a fantastic dinner at the Radisson Temple Bay, two surprise cakes and a whole bunch of gifts from my aunt! Towards the end of the day I was thanking all those who wished me on Facebook and some of them seemed so genuine like they really wanted the best year for me. 21 years of experiences, memories, gains, losses, relationships, decisions, travel, purchases, status messages, photos, tags and a whole lot more. I will spend tomorrow counting the blessings I got this year and make each of them count in my 22nd year.

That’s my gift to myself.   


John said...

...and well deserved. Su, I still can't find the button to follow your blog. Is it 'Subscribe by email' ?

Have you seen the development of my story? Also, I've asked the publisher to cut the price of 'Paddy Egan's Hammer' to FREE. I mean, seriously, who wants to spend three dollars on a two page story??? Anyway, it can now be downloaded for free at
Keep up the good writing!

Sunayana Sen said...

After spending a good 2hrs looking for the 'Follow' feature I found out that the template that I use is new and currently the 'Follow' feature doesn't exist. Google says they're working on a lot of these features for the new templates & it should be rolled out soon. Sad isn't it? :(

Sunayana Sen said...

Hey John! There finally is a 'subscribe'/'readers' feature!! Just saw it on the right hand side of the page.

John said...

Great! I just added you to my Google Readers list. That will make it easier to follow your journey. Did you see my notes after the San Francisco Writers Conference? //John